Near Absolute Completion
To me, it’s absolutely crazy to think that I’ve pretty much reached near absolute completion of high school, as of last week.
I use “near” completion because there’s still some particular things here and there that still need doing, like a choir concert and the actual graduation stuff, like the graduate march and all that fun stuff.
But other than that, no assignments, books to devour, mandatory events or finals. This entire week’s freed up for me, because seniors get to exempt all class finals if they do well and attend their classes enough. So, yeah, Nothing. I’ve reached 99% completion. My Calculus teacher followed me on Instagram (she only follows students after they graduate.) It’s all just weird to take in. I am nearing the point of no longer being a student at my high school, no longer having a bastion to stand behind. My feelings are mixed.
Unabated Freedom
It is absolutely insane to me to have free time, this is a benign concept to me. I played some video games a couple days ago, and I don’t really like video games, I just needed to fill time with something and felt that gaming was the “normal humanly human activity” to do.
I am not used to this, especially after the week prior to this one in which my primary function after school was to study for my AP tests ceaselessly.
I have so much more time for projects, development, hobbies, all that. I’m excited to finally execute on some ideas that I’ve had bouncing around.
Seniority Complex
It’s been a good four years. If I had to rank em, it’d be something like:
- Senior
- Sophomore
- Freshman
- Junior
I won’t elaborate on these rankings, because that could be an entirely different writeup. You know what’s funny, though? I never really developed that “hatred” of underclassmen that so permeates my class. Maybe because my brother’s a freshman, I suppose. Or I’m just really hard to annoy.
Just You And Me
I have a very close group of friends who I play video games with, chat with, fun stuff like that. I love them all very much.
But other than them, I now realize I’m in a state of dire aloneness. I have friends I should really keep in touch with, but to say that I’d be able to keep up with absolutely everybody would be a complete lie. I am not great at reaching out to people. I am not great with people, period, now that I consider it. It’s easy to clear an entire week without having a real conversation with someone, and that scares me, because I never realize an entire week+ has gone by, since my bubble is just so dang quiet. I lose track of things.
My circle has just shrunk, down to a microscopic level. I was primarily used to conversations with a lot of people I knew enough to know the circumstances of their lives, who they are, what they’re like, what they do, what they think of me, et cetera. But I no longer have that network, it was all in the real world. I am boxed in.
I’ll place a vested interest in social media, lest I become unsocial.
Future
I am excited for it, to say the least. Though I suppose I only say that because it’s convention. I have no real regard for the future, other than knowing that it will happen. How odd would it be to say that I’m “unexcited” or “bored of” or “fearful” of the future? Very. It’s just social convention to say you’re excited for the future after doing something major, I guess.
Neat Coincidence
My final “real” day of school (5/13/22) coincided with Kendrick Lamar releasing Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers (which I enjoy a lot!) I regard this as interesting because:
- I like Kendrick Lamar’s music
- I remember the lockdowns/pandemic from COVID-19 beginning on 4/6/2020, my district’s spring break. This wouldn’t really matter on its own, until I add the fact that Eternal Atake, another highly anticipated rap album, also released on 4/6/2020. Music is influential, I guess. :)
Onto the minor things, and then graduation, I suppose!
“It is finished.” - John 19:30